A little over a week ago i was discussing this blog with a friend of mine. She teaches and helps out a lot at the studio I work at and she's also in my stake. Over the past (almost) three years, I've taught her daughter and recently had the privilege of mentoring her through choreographing her own solos. I'm pleased to be able to call this dancer and her mom dear friends. As I was talking with the mom, she brought up an aspect that I never thought of. We talked about how there are so many girls in the dance world who are striving to lead wholesome, faithful lives in the face of having their standards torn down time and time again by teachers, choreographers, judges, even their own parents at times. Some are succeeding, but I'm worried about how many are not. I've pondered and prayed over the last week and I really feel that I want to talk to these young girls. Although I know we could all benefit.
In the LDS church, when a girl turns 12, she is welcomed into the Young Women Organization and from day one she is taught a theme and motto to live her life by. She recites it every Sunday and it serves as a reminder as she goes through her week that she is a precious daughter of God. There is one line in the theme that always stuck out to me
We will 'stand as witnesses of God, at all times and in all things, and in all places'
In reflecting on that line, my mind is also turned to a talk that I recently read titled Moral Discipline. A story was shared from President James E. Faust when he was faced with a situation that could potentially make our break his career in the military. He could go in one direction and appease everyone, or he could remember the promises that he made and share his true feelings on morality. He picked the latter and said,
'I do not believe there is a double standard of morality.'
While thinking about these two statements, I'm taken back to an instance in my youth that I am less than proud of. Unfortunately, too many young women in the dance world are faced with the same situation almost on a daily basis. during my sophomore year of high school, I was a dancer in a production of Guys of Dolls. During one of the numbers, we were required to wear a long evening gown and in a matter of few eight counts, our attire disappeared to a revealing immodest outfit that no teenager should ever be required to wear on stage. Every parent raised concerns as did most of the dancers. I was not one of the them. I didn't feel there was anything wrong with it because I spent hours in a ballet studio wearing only a leotard and tights. But there is a very strong difference! In the ballet studio, we wear those uniforms so the instructors can see lines and ensure that we are learning placement and positions in the proper way. You are not parading in front of hundreds of people looking for cheers and ovations.
Now take a break from the story for a second and lets think of all the ways that our values and standards are attacked in this harsh world.
*Immodest dress-Because dancing is primarily about the body and how it moves, for some reason we use that as excuse to disregard everything that we have been taught about modest dress. I hate to disappoint, but as a teacher, I can see the lines of your legs and torso in a pair of capri pants and a tight fitting t-shirt just as well as I can when you're wearing only a sports bra and 'booty' shorts. I'm not saying that you need to rehearse in a turtle neck with sleeves down past your wrists with your ankles covered. What I am saying is that you need to keep things in context and perspective.
*Distasteful Music-As dancers, it's very easy to get caught up in the beat of the song and you forget to listen to the lyrics. However, that's not an excuse to choose music with vulgar words and inappropriate innuendo. As a teacher, I tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to my music selection in class. Even if there is a song that the kids are listening to on their own iPods, I don't play it because more people hear your music than the class you're teaching. This goes for when you're selecting music for a solo or just dancing in your bedroom. Lyrics and beat and volume can have a crazy effect on your creative process and will, a lot of time, cause you to do things that you normally wouldn't.
*Interaction with Others-I've seen it time and time again....one girl can extend her leg higher than you, she then thinks she better than you. You catch yourself making negative comments about another groups competition routine. Your company group has trouble showing appreciation for the group that scored higher than you. It's a very vicious cycle to get into, and we have all been there at one point another. But please remember that everyone is learning and doing their best.
*Sunday Performance-This is a sticky one. There are varying opinions on what it means to keep the Sabbath day holy, if they believe in it at all. There are two important things to remember. 1) If you feel that you should not be performing/competing on a Sunday, do your best to not be swayed by those trying to convince you otherwise. Peer pressure is never a reason to disregard your commitment. 2) If you come from a family where a Sunday performance/competition is acceptable, try to realize that not all families feel the same way and you need to respect that.
*Pre-madonna Syndrome-I just came up with that label. What do you think? This really goes hand in hand with the 'interaction with others' section but goes a little deeper. As teacher, I have a hard time with the dancers who are really good and they know they are really good so they expect everything to be handed to them without working for it. But there is something to be said for hard work, dedication and attitude. To quote the directors of the company I dance on 'We want diva dancers without the diva attitude.'
*Body Image-It's kind of hard as dancer, and a woman for that matter, to not struggle with body image at some point in their life. The good thing is that little by little, it seems to be changing in the dance world. Small changes mind you, but changes nonetheless. With the frequency of dance on television we are exposed more and more to dancer with more womanly, realistic figures which is refreshing. Just remember that someones perception of your body type is subjective and you shouldn't feel obligated to do something drastic just to appease someone else. Be happy with yourself!
Now back to my story. Ultimately, the decision was made to change the costume and the routine to make it more age appropriate. Unfortunately, it was a hard fought battle by some very courageous students and parents. I'm sad that I can't count myself among them. But I learned a very valuable lesson that I will never forget. The lesson is that my integrity and standards should have been more important to me.
I promise you, that you will be blessed for standing up for yourself and what you believe. You may not see it now, but in the end it will pay off. And you never know who will be touched by your example. You may be dancing alongside a girl who hasn't yet developed that courage to speak up or you may reach a director who will think twice before making decisions for their dancers. You never know. It takes confidence and maturity and is sometimes very hard, but in the end, it is worth it!
*Photo courtesy of BYU
